Remember, this is in "almost but not quite" final draft, so comments are not just welcome but desired. If you like something about this, let me know. If you spot a glitch or something isn't working, let me know. Not asking anyone to proofread it for minor errors, as this will go through another editing process before publication. It was edited once by a pro, but I've made changes since then and probably introduced new errors.
Hi Robb. I commented earlier on the autism thing. I have a nephew who is on the spectrum and I have had long talks with my sister about the strategies he needs to be taught so he can navigate the social cues that are entirely opaque to him. This is a brilliant man with a math PhD — he worked on a project for the Federal Government to design orbit paths for spy satellites that optimized the surveillance output for a limited number of satellites to maximally monitor nuclear weapons sites in the former states of the Soviet Union. Analytically smart, but other people and their emotions are so much noise to him. The first time the woman who is now his wife invited him to her home for dinner, she told him she needed to take care of a few things in the kitchen but he should go ahead and start the meal without her. He quickly cleaned his plate and by the time the young woman returned, he had left the table and was watching television. He was gobsmacked at her reaction and had no clue why this would upset her — after all, she told him to go ahead and eat and he just did what she said. You, Robb, on the other hand (or at the other end of the spectrum) are a sensitive guy and can fluently read a person's expressions and gestures and guess at what they are thinking, but this is the very thing people on the spectrum are oblivious to... they even struggle to understand what facial expressions mean. Not only does Sonny read Izzy and guess at her feelings and motives, he capably swims in the water of social expectations ("Not sure why I found a formal introduction appropriate"). Of course these interactions are what lend tension and drama to a scene and a character who didn't read other people would be a real challenge to write. I'm thinking the autism label for this character will really burden you as an author. Also: I think you can lose the description of his lunch and cut to the walk.
Thanks! I've gone back and forth on that. Having family members with autism (of varying levels), and having personally worked with journalists with autism or what used to be called Asperger's, they each are different and have developed their own coping mechanisms. As the story progresses, it may be clear to anyone familiar with this to see that he is fairly mildly affected and has developed mechanisms to cope, but there are clearly some signals as well. Not only difficulty reading facial expressions or tone of voice, but difficulty ascertaining what emotion he is feeling exactly so he can figure out what his reaction should be. Readers not familiar with autism might not pick up on it at all, just find him quirky.
Whether that should stay in the description or not, I'm not sure. It's never specifically mentioned in the story. It's just who he is. Maybe 'quirky' is all that should be in the description.
I appreciate the input, and am saving it all up for future/final revisions.
One of the things I've been studying closely (a stylistic model for my own novel) are the novels of Eric Ambler. In his scenes, the exchanges of facial expression and body language between characters engaged in a dialog (and the characters' interpretations of those unspoken communications) are like the volleying in a tennis match. It's one of the things I'm really alert to now when I read any dialog scene.
When that's done well, it can be so good. One of the things I've attempted here (we'll see if it works or not) is that one character really has to concentrate and constantly try to pay attention and try to interpret facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, emotional cues -- and often gets them wrong or just struggles to figure them out.
I'm finally catching up with my Substack reading, and this story is hooking me. The opening line reminded me of the famous SEAL quote: "Yesterday was the last easy day." And the idea that things are only going to get harder for the viewpoint character makes me want to read and see how hard and how he will respond. Spotted a few typos, but those didn't take me out of the story. I'm very curious about Izzy and the VC's growth over the course of the novel. Right now, it's mainly questions. 🤷♂️
How do those typos slip in? Even after being edited (by someone else), and by me a few dozen times... and then I see one sentence I want to change and voila! New typo! ;)
"Fat fingering" piled atop the "autocorrupt" juggernaut? I spot typos in my own work all the time even after fixing the manuscript the day before. Perspective always filters through expectations. 🤷♂️
Remember, this is in "almost but not quite" final draft, so comments are not just welcome but desired. If you like something about this, let me know. If you spot a glitch or something isn't working, let me know. Not asking anyone to proofread it for minor errors, as this will go through another editing process before publication. It was edited once by a pro, but I've made changes since then and probably introduced new errors.
Hi Robb. I commented earlier on the autism thing. I have a nephew who is on the spectrum and I have had long talks with my sister about the strategies he needs to be taught so he can navigate the social cues that are entirely opaque to him. This is a brilliant man with a math PhD — he worked on a project for the Federal Government to design orbit paths for spy satellites that optimized the surveillance output for a limited number of satellites to maximally monitor nuclear weapons sites in the former states of the Soviet Union. Analytically smart, but other people and their emotions are so much noise to him. The first time the woman who is now his wife invited him to her home for dinner, she told him she needed to take care of a few things in the kitchen but he should go ahead and start the meal without her. He quickly cleaned his plate and by the time the young woman returned, he had left the table and was watching television. He was gobsmacked at her reaction and had no clue why this would upset her — after all, she told him to go ahead and eat and he just did what she said. You, Robb, on the other hand (or at the other end of the spectrum) are a sensitive guy and can fluently read a person's expressions and gestures and guess at what they are thinking, but this is the very thing people on the spectrum are oblivious to... they even struggle to understand what facial expressions mean. Not only does Sonny read Izzy and guess at her feelings and motives, he capably swims in the water of social expectations ("Not sure why I found a formal introduction appropriate"). Of course these interactions are what lend tension and drama to a scene and a character who didn't read other people would be a real challenge to write. I'm thinking the autism label for this character will really burden you as an author. Also: I think you can lose the description of his lunch and cut to the walk.
Thanks! I've gone back and forth on that. Having family members with autism (of varying levels), and having personally worked with journalists with autism or what used to be called Asperger's, they each are different and have developed their own coping mechanisms. As the story progresses, it may be clear to anyone familiar with this to see that he is fairly mildly affected and has developed mechanisms to cope, but there are clearly some signals as well. Not only difficulty reading facial expressions or tone of voice, but difficulty ascertaining what emotion he is feeling exactly so he can figure out what his reaction should be. Readers not familiar with autism might not pick up on it at all, just find him quirky.
Whether that should stay in the description or not, I'm not sure. It's never specifically mentioned in the story. It's just who he is. Maybe 'quirky' is all that should be in the description.
I appreciate the input, and am saving it all up for future/final revisions.
One of the things I've been studying closely (a stylistic model for my own novel) are the novels of Eric Ambler. In his scenes, the exchanges of facial expression and body language between characters engaged in a dialog (and the characters' interpretations of those unspoken communications) are like the volleying in a tennis match. It's one of the things I'm really alert to now when I read any dialog scene.
When that's done well, it can be so good. One of the things I've attempted here (we'll see if it works or not) is that one character really has to concentrate and constantly try to pay attention and try to interpret facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, emotional cues -- and often gets them wrong or just struggles to figure them out.
Robb, I love your writing. This story is so fascinating so far, and I'm very intrigued about Izzy and her prophecies.
Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed the opening chapters. Still plenty of time for it to go off the rails. ;)
Very intriguing premise and characters. I'm looking forward to the next installment.
I'm finally catching up with my Substack reading, and this story is hooking me. The opening line reminded me of the famous SEAL quote: "Yesterday was the last easy day." And the idea that things are only going to get harder for the viewpoint character makes me want to read and see how hard and how he will respond. Spotted a few typos, but those didn't take me out of the story. I'm very curious about Izzy and the VC's growth over the course of the novel. Right now, it's mainly questions. 🤷♂️
How do those typos slip in? Even after being edited (by someone else), and by me a few dozen times... and then I see one sentence I want to change and voila! New typo! ;)
"Fat fingering" piled atop the "autocorrupt" juggernaut? I spot typos in my own work all the time even after fixing the manuscript the day before. Perspective always filters through expectations. 🤷♂️
I'm late to the party. But you got me hooked.
Never late. You start when you start!
Enjoying this.
Thanks! Glad you're here.